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The last Secret is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "A man wants to be with a woman who encourages him to enjoy being a man." She can do that by accepting him as he is, understanding why he is the way he is, both as a man and individually, by letting him know he makes her happy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], encouraging him to spend time with his guy friends, not mothering him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not nagging, respecting him, being an enthusiastic lover, etc.
Here's what I told him:
The hard part for women is taking control of themselves and choosing to be beautiful. Seems pretty crazy that they so often are ugly, but they mostly don't know any better. They tend to blame whatever is not right on the man,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when they have a whole lot more control than they realize,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including not getting involved with a man because he has "potential."

Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
My goal is to help women be smarter about how they interact with men. Why? So they can be happier and enjoy how great it feels to be cherished by a man who adores her,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Kara Oh
See all Articles by Kara OhSee Kara Oh's Expert PageGet Updates on Relationship AdviceGet Updates on Kara Oh Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
A new male friend on facebook wrote and asked what makes men easy.
That's because the single most important ingredient of any successful relationship is... the power that is hidden within you right now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I call it Feminine Grace and I'll teach you how to use it in Men Made Easy!.
Click Here.

In the first Secret I teach women to be beautiful in how they are, rather than ugly, which a lot of women are. By ugly I mean, whining, complaining, emasculating, out-of-control emotions, blaming,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], trying to change him, etc. By beautiful is be kind, gracious, happy, playful, appreciative and able to communicate needs in such a way that it is win/win for both sides.
The Single Most Important Skill You'll Need
If you've ever wondered what the single most important skill is for creating a deeply loving,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], passionate relationship is, I would tell you, without a doubt – it's the ability to use the power you already have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as a woman, over any man you want to influence.
I studied men for a couple of years and I came up with 12 Secrets About Men. The first and the last are what makes a man easy...as in easy to be in a relationship with. The secrets in the middle are how to do the first and last secrets well.
From my heart to yours,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
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First, I want to reference "The You" and what it is specifically and why is it so important. First "The You" is not the physical aspects such as the color of your hair, shape of your nose or body size but the unique spiritual energy we refer to it as your spirit, your soul or essence.

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By Amy Korn-Reavis
See all Articles by Amy Korn-ReavisSee Amy Korn-Reavis's Expert PageGet Updates on InsuranceGet Updates on Amy Korn-Reavis Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
As a society we currently are questioning everything we know about healthcare. We wonder if we know who we can trust, where to get the best care for the best price, and what is the best health insurance out there. There is change coming but the truth is that a majority of people have the tools to get the best care for the best price.
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Many people have had to take insurances with large deductible due to the high cost of insurance. They are paying anywhere from $250 to $5000 out of pocket before their insurance will start covering expenses. It is important that you know your personal policy and what it pays for,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. It is also important to know what it excludes. If you do have a question an d you call customer service you should be aware that you should keep the name of the person you talked to and ask them for an account number for the phone call. You should also know that the information they gave you may be incorrect and even if it is incorrect the company is not responsible for the incorrect information,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. At the end of the call they will always refer you back to your written policy to get the correct information.
It is important to shop around. Different companies have different contracts with insurance companies,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. An example of this would be a sleep lab. A hospital based lab will tend to be more expensive then an independent testing facility. But you want to maker sure the lab you are going to has been accredited,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. This will let you know that the lab met certain minimum criteria,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Remember you are the person who has control of your money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Your decision should always be based on honesty,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You can always call and ask question of a provider before making a decision to schedule an appointment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
If you have a large deductible and you know that you will not be using your insurance then talk to the health care provider about their cash price and what is the best they can do. Many facilities give a good discount for cash patients,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. If you tell them that you have insurance they will only be able to give you the price the insurance negotiated with the practice. Once you have had the procedure you can submit your bill to the insurance company and they can apply it to your deductible.
If you have an HMO or a Health Maintenance Organization plan make sure that any procedure you have is covered and that if it needs a prior authorization that you have arranged to get one from your primary care doctor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Even if a specialist orders the procedure it is your primary care doctor who has to issue an authorization,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. If the test is done without an authorization they can bill you for the procedure at the price the insurance company would have paid.
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What you eat and what you do can influence your hormones dramatically. When this happens you can either gain weight or lose weight. Avoid these key areas to make sure you lose weight with your healthy weight loss diet.

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When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], divide the task into a series of smaller steps and then complete each of the smaller tasks one at a time. Completing these smaller tasks will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.
Sometimes, it helps to be able to talk to someone about our stressful situations. Talking to a trusted friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], counselor, or clergyman can not only make us feel better,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but they can give you additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem. Managing your fears and anxieties takes practice. In time, you will become better able to deal with your stressful problems.
As a layman, I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear and anxiety. At times,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my fears had the best of me, however I never gave up and I was always determined to find the answers to my problems. Regardless of how difficult it may be to manage your fears and anxieties, the answers are out there if you look hard enough.
Sometimes we encounter a scary situation that gets us all upset. When encountering these events,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent us from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, a person can rely on what is reality and what is not.
In dealing with your anxieties, learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. You never know when the answers you are looking for will come to your doorstep. We may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.
What do you do when your fears, anxieties, and depression are stronger than what you can handle? There are times that no matter what you do, your fears have the best of you. As a result, here is a brief list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their every day anxieties, stresses, and fears.
Author's Bio:
By Stan Popovich
See all Articles submitted by SelfGrowth.com AdminSee SelfGrowth,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].com Admin&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on AnxietyGet Updates on SelfGrowth.com Admin Average: 4 Your rating: None Average: 4 (2 votes) Tweet
At times, a person might encounter a fearful thought that may be difficult to manage. When this happens, visualize a red stop sign,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which can serve as a reminder to stop thinking about that thought. Regardless of how scary the thought may be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do not dwell on it. This technique is good in dealing with obsessive and scary thoughts.
Sometimes we get stressed out when everything happens all at once. When this happens,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take a deep breathe and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get your mind off of the problem. A person can get some fresh air,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], listen to some music,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things.
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Ever hear of Oxytocin? No, not the painkiller, oxycontin, but the hormone that is released in childbirth and assists in the bonding experience between mother and child.

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Linda and David Swanson spoke with the Link-up Consultant and decided that Joe and Emily would be comfortably able to complete the Instinctive Drives™ questionnaire but that it was too early yet for Lucy. They talked around Lucy’s improved performance at school when she could see the application of theory to real life and explored ways in which they could further help show her the links between the two. When, at last,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they were able to pin down Joe for the 20 minutes required, and ensure that Emily understood there were no wrong or right answers to the questionnaire, they were able to discover their children’s Instinctive Drives™. David was surprised to find that Joe shared his Instinctive Drive to Verify™ but less surprised by his drive to Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Complete™ and the fact that he shared his mother’s Instinctive Drive to Improvise™ . (6438) Emily’s Instinctive Drives™ were very similar to David’s but her Instinct to Complete™ was much more intense. (7483)
Short term interruptions when studying will be OK – but to help them get back to what they’re doing quickly before you interrupt ask them where they’re at e.g. what bit are you working on right now?…then interrupt – this will allow them to quickly return to the same point. Ask them their goals for tonight’s homework, but don’t expect them to be on track according to your schedule. Don’t hold them to where they will be by dinnertime, hold them only to where they will be by the end of the night – they may juggle between several pieces of homework, because they work best in this way, and so may have finished none of them by dinnertime but all of them by the end of the evening. If you have several children give them rewards or encouragement that reflect their particular interests and special talents rather than doing exactly the same for all of them. Look to be fair in that each child is rewarded equally but tailor rewards to the uniqueness of each child. Yes, they can really do their homework with the radio on!
We are often asked what the best age is for a child to complete the I.D.™ Questionnaire. There are two things that need to exist for a child to do their I.D. and in order for it to then be valid. They need to be able to understand the questions; They need to have had enough life-experience that they understand what their ‘way’ is.
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Authenticate™
The Swanson children: Joe 16,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Emily 14 and Lucy 10 all go the same school. The teachers often comment how different they are both in personality and in their academic performance. Joe seems to fly by the seat of his pants, handing in assignments last minute, occasionally getting in trouble for being disruptive in class and frustrating his more conscientious schoolmates with his achievement of great grades. Emily couldn’t be more different, she does quite well but puts a lot of time and effort in and is very hard on herself when she doesn’t achieve all A’s and B’s. Her science grade particularly suffered this year when she had a series of stand-in teachers covering for the regular teacher’s sick leave. Although she has some close friends, group assignments are obviously a challenge for Emily, especially if she’s not in a group with those of a similar ability. In contrast again her sister Lucy is much less diligent and often switches off completely in lessons, which reflects in her grades. However, Lucy gets really excited by field trips and usually produces her best work when she has to write up these events. The teachers love her because she puts her hand up to volunteer for just about everything and she joins in most after school activities.
How will my own Instinctive Drives™ Affect my Children?
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Complete™
You’re not naturally driven to give feedback and this may lead to them to thinking that you don’t really care enough to show interest by getting involved,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which, of course, will never be your intention.
Typically a child needs to be at about high-school age (around Year 7 or age 13) in order for the questionnaire to make sense. There will be some children who even in their teenage years may struggle to understand the questions and may not be fully aware of what their ‘way’ is. Indeed, some adults even have that frustration. Or, conversely, a child in primary school may be very bright and have a good sense of self and so would capable of doing their I.D.
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Verify™
Warning your child of the future consequences, both real and imagined, of not doing well at school may place a heavy burden on them and demotivate rather than inspires them. Similarly, imposing a detailed long-term study plan on them, of the kind that would work for you, may not be what will work best for them.
In this article, we look at strategies for helping our children perform their best in school. The questions we address are:
By Paul Burgess
See all Articles by Paul BurgessSee Paul Burgess's Expert PageGet Updates on ParentingGet Updates on Paul Burgess Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Spend time understanding what their passions are and show them how time spent studying and doing certain activities may assist them to fulfill those passions both now and in the future. Always give your child the benefit of the doubt e.g. when you hear their explanation about their involvement with an incident at school or their reasons for not doing something as requested. Tell them you know their intention was right but show them how the perception that others have may be different and what the consequences of this may be.
Instinctive Drive to Improvise™
Your child’s Instinctive Drives™
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Verify™
After doing the Instinctive Drives™ questionnaire as part of an initiative to improve his team’s performance at work, David Swanson discovered he had the Instinctive Drive to Verify™, the Instinctive Drive to Complete™ and that he was also driven to avoid the Instinctive Drive to Improvise™ . (7563) He had a call with a Link-up Consultant who explained his particular needs, talents and vulnerabilities and they discussed strategies in relation to some challenges David was facing at work. When David told Linda about the process she was fascinated, and not least of all intrigued to see if uncovering her motivations would shed any light on her and David’s occasional clashes. When she completed the Instinctive Drives™ questionnaire the couple’s biggest insight was around Linda’s strong drive to avoid the Instinctive to Verify™. She also contrasted to David with her Instinctive to Improvise™. (2458) The couple’s thoughts soon turned from the impact they were having on each other to the impact, perhaps not always a positive one, they were having on their three, seemingly very different, children.
Recognise your child’s need to separate work from play and that they will perceive an element of struggle as an acceptable and essential part of achieving something worthwhile. Tell them that you can see the effort and hard work that they are putting into their studies - regardless of the results – it will keep them motivated towards achieving a better result. Ensure that they also make the most of the other non-academic/social opportunities that school can provide – letting them chose the activities that they enjoy – rather than the one’s you think would be good for them.
Give them feedback – the good things and areas for improvement – be specific and provide examples. If you want them to do something,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], give them the purpose behind your request. Always be prepared to answer the question: why? and remember that because I said so won’t help to engage them in what it is you want them to do. Be aware of their need for fairness. This can play out if there are brothers or sisters e.g. if someone is rewarded for good behaviour and they aren’t - they’ll be acutely aware of it. Encourage them to celebrate success as even a 95% test score will have them focusing on the 5% that’s wrong - help them to measure their progress rather than what they still don’t know or haven’t achieved yet.
If you’re frustrated by their delivery of the bare minimum e.g. when it comes to them tidying up their room or completing an assignment, this may be a result of their literal interpretation of your request rather than laziness on their part. For example, when they just stuff things under their bed and say their room is clean, don’t get angry, explain that when you say clean you mean…(list all the criteria). Recognise that when you say to your child that they will be rewarded in some way e.g. for hard work or improvement, whether you have used the word promised or not, it will be considered a verbal contract. This will also work the other way around so you can seek to make contracts with them in connection with behaviours at home, study time etc. Wherever possible show how learning and projects at school apply to real life and can be practical and useful e.g. asking them to help you evaluate which new car would be most cost effective on petrol, or showing them how an environmental issue they are studying is affecting the area they live in by going on a family visit.
Instinctive Drive to Verify™
Things have changed a bit in the Swanson household, especially around end of school year exam preparation time! It’s certainly not all plain sailing but the family found that some ground rules around study have certainly helped the children to perform better at school and everyone to get less stressed. To begin with, hard though it is, David is learning to accept that Joe really does perform at his best last minute and under pressure. He also knows that Joe needs to juggle between subjects and assignments to maintain his motivation but that he can occasionally let a ball drop. At the end of each evening’s study David and Joe spend 10 minutes talking through what Joe’s covered that night. David also helps Joe break down the subjects he finds boring into manageable chunks and thinks up ways to make them revising more interesting for him, even setting up a Who Wants to be a Millionaire style science quiz for him and his friends. Joe in turn keeps the music to a reasonable volume when his friends are round,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is now happens on a rota basis with him going round to their house more often than before. Between 6.30pm and 7.30pm there’s a no music rule (or rather headphones only) and Emily is to be uninterrupted. When there are changes at school, such as in the teaching staff, David and Linda talk these things through with Emily to help her keep the consequences in perspective. They also do a lot more celebrating of the children’s successes including any progress made, and not just of academic successes but across all the activities they’re involved in. Lucy can’t wait to discover her Instinctive DrivesTm. In the meantime the Swanson’s are delighted that a new biology teacher has inspired her to take up gardening so that she can see first hand how plant biology really works!
So what strategies can I use with my Child to help them Perform at their best,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Your changing the plan may be confusing or frustrating for them e.g. if they’ve planned to study for the evening and you propose, at the last minute, a family evening out.
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Authenticate™
Your need for things to be right and constantly improving may result in your child feeling that they’re never good enough e.g. when you focus on the one low mark on a report card, rather than the rest of the good ones; or focus on the improvement needed rather than the progress they’ve made since last time.
Your child will need time and space to focus on their study which can be a challenge when there are other siblings. Help them find quiet time where they know they will be free from interruptions. Even make it a family rule e.g. between 6.00pm and 7.00pm that no one is to interrupt them. Be aware that when you change your plans your child will need to make adjustments to their own plan e.g. If you told them dinner would be at 7.30pm and now need to have it at 7.00pm because something came up, be aware that this will represent a lost half hour of their plan. While you may just see it as dinner being 30 minutes earlier, they may need help to put this into perspective and so to avoid a mild panic over the change. Help them work out contingencies for where things may not play out as they originally planned. For example, they may have intended to study on a Saturday morning but the family had surprise visitors. Helping your child build catch up time into their study schedule will take away the worry and allow them to enjoy such unexpected events. Also apply this thinking to bigger life challenges such as expectations around final examination grades. In case they don’t achieve the grades needed for their preferred course at their first choice college, help them create a workable Plan B and Plan C. This will enable them to put their energies and focus into doing well as opposed to worrying about the consequences of not doing as well as hoped.
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Improvise™
Well, the good news is that I.D. can give you lots of insights into what your children need to perform at their best and that includes what you can do to get them through one of their biggest life challenges – their time at school. When we talk about performing at their best here, we don’t just mean getting good grades. We also mean young people developing the confidence and self esteem essential to their healthy emotional development – of even greater importance when it comes to leading a meaningful and enriching life and learning the skills they will ultimately need to be the leaders of tomorrow.
Your own drive to be hands on and to help e.g. with homework, may cause frustration when your child wants or needs to have a go on their own and work things out for themselves. Also, when they have to do it on their own, they won’t really know how to.
Our I.D.™ gives us a remarkable insight into what we need to be at our best across all areas of our life. Whether at work or play, the I.D. enables us to generate strategies that will help us to enjoy achievement and fulfilment in our various life roles, including within one of the most challenging roles that many of us will ever face, that of parent. Indeed, many of our clients tell us that a hard days’ parenting can make a comparative picnic out of the most gruelling day at the office. So, how can I.D. help those of us who take on this often tough, though thankfully also rewarding role.
Awareness of the vulnerabilities of your own I.D. is just the first step. Knowing your child’s I.D. is the next. Once you have discovered your child’s I.D. you can use your awareness of your own vulnerabilities, in conjunction with your new knowledge of your child’s needs, to apply strategies that will help them to perform at their best. Generally your approach should be to focus on the results they achieve as opposed to the process they follow to get there. However, also think of the family as a whole - getting 100% on a test by studying until 2am with the music all the way up may be a great result for an individual child, but not so great for everyone else in the family!
Instinctive Drive to Complete™
Talk things through with them e.g. how they’re thinking of approaching a particular assignment – brainstorming, whether with you or their peers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will help them come up with their best ideas, it’s how they think. Encourage them to study with friends who also work best in this way – let them have friends over to the house to study and when you do this, hold them accountable to the end goal and not the process of getting there. They will have fun studying this way but it doesn’t mean they’re not working. They perform at their best when they’re finishing assignments at the 11th hour and cramming up to the last minute for tests, again, hold them to the results and not the process. Constantly celebrate with them, whether that’s finishing something, achieving something, or just getting through something!
Your need to leverage and use time as effectively as possible may lead to a hands-off approach to helping your child grow e.g. when they have a problem with their homework, you give them the essence of the solution without showing them how to apply it, which would make it real for them.
I.D. will explain your child’s motivations and unique talents and vulnerabilities. There are many influences that will affect how these play out throughout their schooling - not least of all your own I.D. , parenting style and hopes and expectations for your child. The culture of the education system and the behaviours of teachers and peers will also contribute to the extent to which the learning environment meets the particular needs of your child’s I.D. and the nature of the challenges they face operating within it. We certainly know that no particular I.D. is going to guarantee your child’s success. However, with the right strategies in place, to which you, as a parent, can make a significant contribution, I.D. can assist all children on their journey to the achievement of their full potential.
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Improvise&trade,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
How will my Child’s Instinctive Drives™ Affect their Performance at School?
Author's Bio:
Instinctive Drive to Authenticate™
It’s the end of school year and exam preparation time in the Swanson household. David and Linda are doing their best to get Joe 16,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Emily 14, and Lucy 10 through this challenging period but things are beginning to get heated! David’s mostly concerned about Joe. He’s done really well throughout the year despite little visible effort but father and son had a bit of a row when Joe showed no interest in David’s idea of drawing up a study plan. Joe said he’d prefer to take things day by day! David also can’t believe that his wife, Linda, is so cool about Joe having friends round to study all the time. He completely understands their eldest daughter Emily’s frustration at their rowdiness and loud music. He wasn’t at all surprised to find her doing her homework in the laundry room the other day. She said it was the only place to get some peace and quiet! Linda fetched her out and said she was being ridiculous and that anyway she shouldn’t be working so hard. Emily broke down in tears. Within minutes of this drama David managed to upset both Lucy and his wife by asking Lucy why she’d only got a C+ for her last history assignment. Linda quickly pointed out that as she got a C last time, a C+ was therefore evidence of progress and couldn’t he give their youngest daughter a little more encouragement? To sooth her injured little one, Linda attempted, uncharacteristically, to help with her maths homework. However, her youngest daughter’s inability to grasp the concept of percentages while also insisting Linda ‘show the working out’ quickly sent her into a spin. Fortunately, big brother Joe,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no doubt happy to interrupt his own study, stepped in and fetched his internet bank statement. He showed Lucy how the interest was calculated. Peace was, temporarily at least, restored to the Swanson household.
When giving them feedback e.g. in relation to how they’ve been doing at school, focus on what they can do and think about next time they have a test or work on an assignment, rather than dwelling on what they did last time that wasn’t so great such as not studying or doing enough research. If they’ve done something you’re unhappy with there’ll be no need to explain the impact - they’ll get it – so don’t overload them with detail and more examples as this only deflates their self-esteem; they get it, so move on and focus on fixing it. Give them loads of positive encouragement - they’ll thrive on it -catch them doing the right thing. They won’t always be able to explain why they’ve behaved in a particular way. If you do need to get further information from them be aware that simply firing questions at them won’t help, it will just close them down. Try and get a dialogue going e.g. Tell me a bit more about what happened?
Avoid the Instinctive Drive to Complete™
Within business, leaders play a significant role in shaping their teams and the performance of the individuals within it. This scenario plays out in a similar way within a family. While your intentions as a parent are to love and grow your children the following examples will give some insights into how your
I.D. vulnerabilities may be impacting on them, particularly in areas relating to their schooling.
Instinctive Drive to Improvise™
Instinctive Drive to Verify™
Your need to create an impact may impose undue pressure on them to produce brilliant results. Also, they may perceive you as not being serious enough about things and having too much fun with things that are serious to them.
Instinctive Drive to Authenticate&trade,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Instinctive Drive to Complete™
Your seriousness about school issues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], given your need to separate work from play, may not provide the stimulation, encouragement and fun they need to actively engage in their studies.
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Chicago Divorce Lawyers has flourished off late. Earlier there was not so much demand of a Chicago Divorce Lawyers. Many people from India are moving to Chicago for practicing law studies. Chicago Divorce Lawyers plays an important role for those who want to get separated from their life partners. Divorce takes place when there is difference in opinions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if anyone breaks any laws in which the couple is bounded to. If this situation occurs in a person’s life then they decide to go for divorce. The case goes to an extreme situation where the matter cannot be solved by words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so people opt for divorce. Thus divorce lawyers are needed. In Chicago this has increased a lot nowadays thus Chicago Divorce Lawyers plays a very important part. Chicago Divorce Lawyers helps one to live their life properly and in a better way and even happily.
By Matthew Thor
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The term “lawyer” refers to a person who practices or studies law. Law is a set of rules propounded by a sovereign government to maintain the stability of political and social authority,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and deliver justice. The work of a lawyer involves practical application of legal theories and knowledge to solve specific personalized problems. The role of a lawyer varies significantly across legal jurisdiction. Lawyers are of different categories such as criminal lawyer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], civil lawyer, corporate lawyer, divorce lawyer, etc. The term “Divorce” means is to legally end ones’ marriage. The job of a divorce lawyer is to guide an individual who approaches him through this legal procedure.
Now days many people are migrating to Chicago in search of better job opportunities and for educational purposes. Eventually they settle there and tie the knot only to realize that the person they have got married to is not actually meant for them. Hence they opt for divorce,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Off late the number of divorce lawyer has increased,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. People are getting themselves divorced for many various reasons. People in America have a proper lifestyle. In Chicago marriage has not been taken as seriously as it is done in most of the other countries. Therefore the demand for Chicago Divorce Lawyer is very high,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
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Ever hear of Oxytocin? No, not the painkiller, oxycontin, but the hormone that is released in childbirth and assists in the bonding experience between mother and child.

poewrpona

Q: How do you maintain your S-H? What have you changed, so far?
✶ ✶ ✶ ✶
HOW MAINTAINED
ACoAs pile on more self-hate by the way we act, think & feel towards ourselves, & how we let others treat us.
By: • trying to be perfect, & hating ourselves for not being able to
• talking to ourselves in ‘shoulds’ (I should go to school right away, although I ‘m not really up to it now)
• sabotage opportunities & prevent ourselves from going after what we want in life
• black & white thinking, all or nothing, do or die (when one of these extremes doesn’t work out,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we hate ourselves more)
• ‘yelling’ at ourselves - calling ourselves stupid, crazy, weak...
• trying to ‘one up’ others - to cover feeling ‘less than’
• not following thru... with plans, promises,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], goals
• denying our anger at others, swallowing it & getting depressed
• not standing up for ourselves - our rights, our tastes, our needs...
• let others use us, take advantage, continually cross our boundaries
• choosing & then staying with people who continually hurt us, don’t understand or can’t listen, can’t mirror us, who use us, manipulate....
• trying to do the impossible (change others, instead of ourselves)
• regularly getting into verbal (&/or physical) fights, to punish & isolate
• humiliating ourselves by: telling all our faults, over-disclosing, trying desperately to convince someone (who doesn’t care) that we’re not as bad/wrong stupid as they think
• being obnoxious, continual boasting, telling people off, arrogance, acting superior... (it keep us disconnected from others)
• continuing addictions; poor grooming habits; not care for our health
• lie, manipulate, cheat, mistrust everyone OR trust everyone, indiscriminately (copy our sick parents or play out the Scapegoat role)
• all other self-destructive behaviors (even little ones, because they eat away at us!)
RESULT
• we’re afraid to know our ‘true self’ - which we are sure is awful - & cannot accept our natural tendencies (being sensitive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], artistic, emotional, intelligent, talented in some are,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], talkative, having a strong personality...)
• not allowed to have dreams, wishes & hopes, & so can’t pursue them
• being suicidal, depressed, paranoid, hopeless
• stay victims - believe we deserve whatever abuse or neglect we receive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], any time any place
• perfectionistic - expect too much of ourselves: we’re bad if we don’t have the American dream, higher education, lots of money, the right job / car / house / spouse ....
• not allowed to have boundaries (who do you think you are?)
• we stay in a constant state of neediness, vulnerability, fear of being hurt or left alone,
• keeps us in a rage (overt or hidden) because we still want things we think we can’t have or get
• in a rage that no one is willing to take care of us,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fix, us, magically make it all better
• keeps us ‘anorexic’: under-earning, little or not affection, sex, love, attention,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], connections...
• prevents us from being relaxed, having fun, being light
• we take everything personally!!! The wrong look, being ignored, a selfish remark... from others can send us into a tailspin
• can’t let people get too close to us - S-H prevents genuine intimacy
• allows others to abuse us without being stopped or called to account...
By Donna M Torbico
See all Articles by Donna TorbicoSee Donna Torbico's Expert PageGet Updates on Abuse and RecoveryGet Updates on Donna Torbico Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Part 1: Essence, Source - Past & Present
RECOVERY
a. INFO: S-H is a false belief & painful emotion - it is NOT who we are. We were not born hating ourselves. We had to learn it!
THEREFORE - it does not have to be permanent. We can outgrow it.
b. Awareness - of what exactly S-H is & what it’s for. Suggested reading, highly recommended: “Compassion & Self-Hate”, by Theo Rubin
• that all our ‘failures’ & character defects are the result of our S-H (see post “Negative Benefits of Self-destructive Patterns”)
• the origin of S-H: it’s the direct,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], inevitable result of the myriad ways we were abandoned as kids on all 4 levels: P.M.E.S.
✶ 3 Cs of Al-Anon: I didn’t Cause it, I can’t Control it, I can’t Cure it!
c. Acceptance - of all our emotions, even S-H: Don’t hate yourself for hating yourself! We just don’t have to act on them (Es) all the time
• need to ‘sit with feelings’, go into them, don’t try to suppress them - they will pass
• we learned ‘stinking thinking‘ from our family, but we can be free of it
• expect some backlash (from ourselves & others) when we start changing our toxic thinking & the way we respond to people
• that we’re responsible for our own emotions & how we deal with them
• that WE were NOT the cause of our early suffering. We simple did not have the power to make pour parents mistreat us!
• being loved cannot be earned. The other person must already have the ability to love! We can not create that ability in another.
d. Action - Change the thoughts / messages we’ve been believing. Make new statements & repeat them every day. (See post “Why are you stuck?” - & use the chart).
• Change how we behave - not let ourselves be bullied, disrespected,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not considered (it’s OUR job to say how we want to be treated)
• STOP trying to fix / change other people. It’s arrogant & futile
• Actively work at correcting our understanding of life & others - not everyone is safe, nor is everyone dangerous
• Choose winners: kind, balanced, functional people to associate with (they don’t have to be ‘flawless’ or without damage. They mainly have to be willing to take responsibility for their own Ts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Es & As)
➼ Repeat to yourself every day: “No matter what I do - I don’t deserve abuse for it!”
NOBODY LOVES ME -
I’m going to eat worms & die!
PURPOSE for S-H - TO:
• protect our ideal of having good, loving, safe parents
• protect us from feeling our old abandonment pain
• keep from risking change (fear we’ll die if we S & I)
• keep us attached to the family (stave off deep loneliness)
• prevent us from dealing with ‘ugly emotions’ like our rage, envy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], longing, hopelessness...
• protects us from Growing up, taking care of ourselves (we want to be taken care of! no matter what the cost is)
➼ WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GIVE UP S-H?
The above reasons are all part of the answer, but the MAIN one is that: It gives us a FALSE SENSE of POWER! How?
a. every child is self-centered, which is normal. They think everything is about them - whatever happens in or around them has to do with them.
b. if they are in continual fear & suffering because of weak, ineffectual, harsh, demanding, neglectful, abusive... parents, they thoroughly believe they caused & deserve the bad treatment
c. the child’s logic is: I’m in pain & I somehow caused it. Therefore I CAN stop them from hurting me, if I can just figure out how!
d. the child then spend the rest of its life (until recovery) trying different ways to FIX whatever the problem seems to be - in 2 ways:
-- SELF - re-invent itself (must be the origin of this) by trying on different ‘personae‘ -- be the perfect kid,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the trouble maker, the helper, get good grades, be invisible / don’t have any needs, be funny...
-- THEM - try to make the parents see reason, get sober, get help, leave the marriage, be taken care of (by the child), cover up for them, fix their ‘craziness’, cater to their every whim....
✶ BUT NOTHING WORKS! They don’t change, don’t listen, don’t stop!
Even if some of our parents got sober, it’s not because of anything the kids did, AND they rarely are willing to get the psychological help they need to be a better parent - this is called being a “Dry Drunk”.
✶✶ The RESULT for the child is an intense feeling of FAILURE!
This is the reason, now, that so many ACoAs believe that we’re FRAUDS - that people will eventually FIND OUT. Find out what?
✶✶ The ANSWER is rarely in an ACoAs’ consciousness: That since we couldn’t make our parents get well & be there for us - we are incapable of succeeding at anything! This is true of even the most outwardly successful ACoAs, without recovery.
“SINCE I CAUSED IT, I SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHANGE IT!”
SO, we keep trying, always asking: What’s wrong with ME?
Author's Bio: 相关的主题文章:

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Ever hear of Oxytocin? No, not the painkiller, oxycontin, but the hormone that is released in childbirth and assists in the bonding experience between mother and child.

poewrpona

: how deep is your love that you put my heart tightly to obtain
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
deeply love you
I'll be in your dreams again kiss you deeply love you

nothing will keep you and I separated

: how deep is your love for my love you do not need to escape
deeply love you
the entire galaxy is I love you dynamic
deeply love you
my love for you is to love you deeply and change

you are the love of my life the only love you

the days without you I'm tired

: how deep is your love I pay for you love God knows
have no regret
deeply love you
please don't cruel let me taste lonely
deeply love you
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can you hear me constantly calling
in
I love you deeply相关的主题文章:

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I rely on inspiration prism doing on the current social advance, in layout to the bridal chamber who will be my future bride? This shear Yan Xianlai soil to build Hualong's mountains, the endless cries of joy.

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year by year in the past really fast! As the express train a forward speeding,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and each sitting on the train passengers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], have not had time to watch carefully the window beautiful scenery,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but also a deep impression in the mind does not leave,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it from the eyes flashed; nonetheless, we it filled with mixed things mind, still will some remnants of always indelible memory, they will always be hidden somewhere in the body, is with us our entire life.
and when I see those streams of people busily coming and going in the street walking in the crowd, wearing the most fashionable dress, a sunflower like bright smile of the young people, the heart hard to suppress a sense of envy will immediately fill the chest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and my eyes will follow them flying figure could not move! As a perennial and wheelchair by disabled people, have a healthy body, is the biggest dream in my life! But it is so far away; in order to seize it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I can do anything, but the cruel fate did not give me this chance, it mercilessly deprived me of my freedom, and broke my desire to fly their wings. Vaguely remember, once appear from somewhere or someone's mouth, heard of such a word: the fate of each person is differ in thousands of ways, if out of jealousy cause trouble, so want to belong to own life, replication and others as like as two peas,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that is absolutely impossible,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because you do not go out with the same other people's lives! At first hearing this philosophical words, because the content was still small did not really understand the abstruse. Many years later, when almost have almost forgotten it, in a casual moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I suddenly understood the true meaning of it! As a physical disability but full of imaginative girl: childhood had many beautiful dreams, like ordinary girl fondly dreams of a better future, not at all because of the incomplete limb and trouble,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], can grow up to know the little hope, like real and illusory mirage, not my attachment to others disabled women, can have, but hidden in the stubborn factor in my body, but not so easily yield; they are just at the beginning of the flame like a bunch of little ready to make trouble, but like the burning flame, will my heart the a pool of stagnant water calm heart burning, as if to destroy those negative thoughts like. I seem to have heard the ear reverberate with such a voice: my dear boy, you don't give up your dream and pursuit, because you are not afraid of various difficulties and hardships of pine tree! So you have to be strong to stand, no matter what kind of hardships and dangers are not down, until the bright spring days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the season of flowers in full bloom, you will like the pine tree with luxuriant foliage, a sit up and take notice. Because of the invisible sound encouraged me to hesitate no longer sad, I told myself I must live a good life, cherish all good,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and put them in the heart, slowly >相关的主题文章:

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I rely on inspiration prism doing on the current social advance, in layout to the bridal chamber who will be my future bride? This shear Yan Xianlai soil to build Hualong's mountains, the endless cries of joy.

poewrpona

Gentle moonlight,
reflects the heart is lonely place,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
hazy you came into my dreams,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Gently waves
dream,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
seabirds elated,
and charming sunset.
holding your hand, walk on the beach in
,
were drunk shaking sunset,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
sea breeze your soft hair,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
that pure appearance,
forever unforgettable.

wake up,
you still cloud the laughter, I in the end of the
alone,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
to love and miss playing,
song floating in the wind,
echoed in the silent hill,
heart pain with trickling streams flowing quietly,
,
only companions,
only gentle the moon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], all sounds are still.

dark night,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], only he saw out of the corner of my tears, only
it to comfort my heart hurt.

you like the moon in the sky,
is in the middle of water,
I can only deep gaze.
you to the distance,
to meet the new life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
and I will stray away,
to find the eternal,
went home to find the soul,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].

years, silent and soundless,
may change our appearance,
only that feeling will be engraved on the heart. Every night I would watch
,
to wait for the eternal moon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hope that you come my dreams.相关的主题文章:

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I rely on inspiration prism doing on the current social advance, in layout to the bridal chamber who will be my future bride? This shear Yan Xianlai soil to build Hualong's mountains, the endless cries of joy.

poewrpona

close music player music
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
good tired,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], good FANA

tomorrow want to go home,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], why I can not go home?
Author: to win the China 1992
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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

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(a)
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
ugly human
world
silent cry
the painful departure

over all
cold disdain to make

the dead hate

where there are really
where there is beauty where
also with
alone and

and the
moments false
all lonely sad demise of the

(two)
lonely night after the cold wind hit

leaves
sleepless feel

rebirth moon
continuously by
can not fill the break
poet literary
(three)
poet needs love
so to love

so the poet needs care to care

poet to love
is the purest love poet

to concern is the most sincere concern

poets write poems
every word is love
poet song
first is the capital of caring for

say
you really call
who knows
everything from love[/b]相关的主题文章:

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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

poewrpona

in the face of this disaster, people's thoughts are diversiform. With the exception of a few xingzaiyuehuo,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], blame everyone and everything but not oneself person, most ordinary view, disaster free.
today, I saw a report, and earthquake. However, the anemae core that is not in front of the text, nor heroic utterance.
when this passage I read Lin strong, not a guilty just like to see people,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but a good servant of his anatomy! Even like to see the great statue of a philosopher.
Lin Qiang said: see so many schools collapsed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so many children died, as long as there is a little bit of conscience, will not stand. Besides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I am a educational administration officials. Of course the school collapses is a social event, the whole society has the responsibility. But the greatest responsibility education system. I as an educational administrative officials, should have a sense of guilt. I witnessed the tragedy from the scene at the moment, there is a sense of guilt.
this is a how to report?
reports: Sichuan Province Education Department deputy inspector Lin Qiang, petitioned the Sichuan Province and 2008 Olympic torch relay Sichuan Committee, request to transfer its torch and watch the Beijing Olympics qualification.
I hate my clumsy pen,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not write a fierce inner feelings; I wrote, is so feeble. I seem to have repeatedly said "very impressive" words, or out of line of tears!
Since
Mao Zedong said: "the person is expensive to have know one's limitations. &gt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
editor's note: this 2008, touched me, us.
this report, the newspaper put it in less eye-catching position, not easily noticeable. At first glance,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], do not think that is what the content of the novel. Now I think, if I did not pay attention to read it carefully, it would be too bad.
however, this just a short report, also caused strong reaction, many would say blocking in the heart,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], always hard to say good reason.
Sichuan earthquake, we saw many disaster reports, an excited spirit arise spontaneously, complex mentality has been immersed in the sad,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], exciting, sigh, emotional.
however, Lin Qiang is superior to others. Especially as a provincial official, he can say blame words, but also humility and is he to give up the life of the honor, this is how clever, how great, how wisdom!
reporter said: after all, this is a magnitude 8 earthquake, the mankind can't resist. Lin Qiang replied: of course there are natural factors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the natural disaster does not necessarily lead to tragedy, the tragedy of excuse to natural disasters, is a kind of lazy morally. "In a sense, I am a sinner, I should ask those who wronged children,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to their loved ones, to offer a humble apology to the society,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to kneel, and should not be put on the robe of honor. But I have no other way to sin, but with the transfer of the torch to self salvation."
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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

poewrpona

I sing for you with the life
- the original good mood
you: is a legend, let the literati gathered from all sides,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], splash ink brush,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], graceful poetry, climb the ideal ladder,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], hold up a vast world... For literary master.
 -- Preface;

 remember in that place
 I saw you
 not to, like entering an earthly paradise
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; and do not say your magnificent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; ornate; fascinating
 also don't say a man of great talent talents gather together.
 only the flying quatrains shallow sing
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; let me drunk tremor
 from the pursuit of the dream is the direction

 amaze you this rich place
 open the window of heart in my memory
 love wings wings
 forget the troubles and melancholy sadness
 Jiangnan sound pushed beyond the skylight
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; graceful treble in the sounds of nature.
 text message to like singing
 into the blood, in the flowing

&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; a together with you
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; there is no distance desolate
 roam breathing every day in your world
 my claim, is so greedy
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; poetry passion
 deduction in the palace of dreams
 a true comments, to hope
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; let me not to return to nature

 ever since I met you
 it did not mind the frivolous
 writing every day life legend
 dedicated to the idea of your most sincere
 between the lines with deep meditation
 records the solitude of the text driven
&shy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; peace in your company
 are you concerned look sad in
 are you supporting strength in difficulty
 happy and your tears flowed together

sing相关的主题文章:

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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

poewrpona

Cosmetics enough light on your face
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
last night a traveler in a hurry
wind sudden rain
you put down the curtain
windows
tears dripped on a light string
flourishing leaves and withering flowers
was not disappear of wine
still dream Phoenix wings
flew over the mountains over the water
reach a noble heart
wax into ash thinking different
all his poems you have read,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
painful chapter sad fragment
if you want to ask
when he was out
and looking back to see you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
when he smile,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
the mirror to the outdoor bird
tracing a brow and then draw a
you wanted to make sure his eyebrow is not diagonal
long years of exposure before he Yan
still want a look for him
has gone hand in hand
SIP Rouge you gently say:
I cannot wait
all paper is full of him
it incense
the incense burner in the fire
burned to a period of time
windows open
your eyes only Begonia,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].相关的主题文章:

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I never tried to pursue the heart of love, because I and the general women have some degree of reserved emotions. Although I am no longer is the first awakening interest in the opposite sex, but still can be put into the heart of love lows, still fall in love easily.

poewrpona

can you shut your mouth, be careful to give you a
some men why be afraid of wife? Is not the desire to have a harmonious and stable
for my dream, I can only say that the dream has always been urine arousal!!
light is lost can not let others see you can not find a home.
there will be bread, can have bread, I found, in fact,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'd prefer sausage!!
true warrior,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dare to really seen his rugged face.
I want me
's mother,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a day when the princess, queen for ten months. All his life
brother you win, the earth has been unable to stop you!
not every milk are called Sutle,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not everyone like me so pure
sorry I wasn't so happy but I can't say
people in this life is like opera always kankankeke doesn't sing well.
stinky tofu smells smelly man eating sweet this call to have the connotation of
wind up really big, the mobile phone signal I move cut into China Unicom!
you are wonderful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], wonderful, wonderful life by everyone!
Meixinmeifei, can live 100 years. Examine oneself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], feeling no shame, living not tired.
The
sometimes don't solve their problems, they'll be problem solving.
thank you for letting me see your reality show. Performers please continue to table
class to sleep,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], class play noisy, test die.
you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes
is it right? Your mother also said this sentence: you and your dad is a virtue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
looked at your face,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I even don't know how to write custom
now Shidao changed, sanitary napkins can not afford to buy expensive
women remember,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], by the final destination is the trash.
operation is iniquity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], write operation is made of
The
life is laughing, crying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], miss, narcissistic, they stole a.
ten refers to the literature network
rumors: Lecture teacher's quality directly determines the flow of this month.
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I often write down a large seemingly beautiful words to express their thought. City sister said: "too flowery words sometimes makes people as no soul of poetry that worry......" How should I say, the wearer knows where the shoe pinches.